Living with the Monks: What Turning Off My Phone Taught Me about Happiness, Gratitude, and Focus

The Visibility from Mount Washington

“Hey Kevin,” I said privately. “I heard something about tour guides. Do we have one?” “No,” he said. “Any reason?” “It’s a fucking mountain, Jesse,” he said. “It goes up.”

Off the Grid

And SEAL looked even more agitated then he was moments before.

The Tour

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” —BUDDHIST PROVERB

DAY 1 An Adult Time-Out

I’m a big believer that you have to carve some time out of each day to do the things you love to do. It’s my own rule that I call the “three-hour rule.” You take three hours a day for yourself to do what YOU want to do. That time is cumulative. It can be going for a walk, watching TV, reading, whatever. But when you’re in that time you don’t feel guilty that you’re not with your family, at work, or doing something else. If you don’t take time for yourself—you’ll resent the people who are taking those things away from you.

DAY 3 The Distractor

The monks first book (they have a bunch of them), first published in 1978, is called How to Be Your Dog’s Best Friend. Some consider it the bible of dog-training books.

“We all must be trained, Jesse. The power and temptations of the outside world are great. Train yourself from the distractions. They are the enemies of your goals. Learn to move past the distractions, and you will succeed.”

Brother Christopher referenced a wise monk: “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

DAY 4 Murder, He Wrote

In a way though it’s good as it’s forced me to pay close attention and figure it out on my own. They say that’s the best way to learn. My wife always tells her employees, “If nobody told you how to do your job, how would you do it?” The results she gets from that are amazing. Sometimes you have to rip up the playbook, break the mold, and do it your own way.

After the chanting and reflections around Jesus, today’s theme for service was forgiveness. It’s something I struggle with. It’s not that I live with a lot of resentments, but I have a hard time of letting go when I feel like I’ve been wronged or betrayed. So it really hit home when Brother Christopher explained that forgiveness was the answer to wasted energy. I really got it. But I’m still pissed at a few people.

The checklist behind a Krav Maga first strike boils down to three basic elements: One, has someone violated your space? Two, is there a direct threat? And, three, get them before they get you. Sounds reasonable—right?

DAY 5 The Retreat

“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try and hold on to.” —LAO TZU, DAO DE JING

If we’re aware of how we’re feeling, it helps us process emotion to make better decisions—it gives us direction.

As soon as she started talking I got drawn in—her message resonated. “Treat yourself gently. Don’t talk angry to yourself. We’re all searching for peace,” she said. “But peace is already within. We simply need to work on our spirit.”

“We spend so much time worrying about things that may never happen,”

DAY 10 Honest Moments

When you come to a point when you have to make a key decision, remember how that choice will make you feel tomorrow, and the tomorrow after that, and the one after that.

DAY 12 Fitting In

As someone starting out in business, getting over the fear of being embarrassed is one of the most liberating gifts you can give yourself.

DAY 13 35,000 Decisions

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” —DALAI LAMA